This is kind of a 'Video Presentation', so you'll have to follow along by hitting play on each 'Video Selection' and then then reading the text (preferably out loud).
That's what we in the industry call a hook (a catchy intro designed to titillate...get it...Tit...ummmm, ahhh, Oh! Look! A plane with an advertisement on it!).
Aaaaaand we're back-
Lets talk about athletes. SERIOUS athletes.
Former tight ends, outfitted with whip and chains and a sexual appetite that will knock your socks off.
NEW SOCKS IN THIS WEEK!
Big Jim Slade never really messed around...
Neither should you.
Seek out the erogenous zones of this here thing called exercise, but then avoid them. Don't be an insect.
You DO NOT want to become a specialist.
Roger Bannister, OG Insect.
If I wanted to be all 'soft' I'd tell you that video gives me chills.
All it does is make me feel contempt for people that train so hard for one specific task that they achieve a specific and precise goal.
They should be concentrating on General Physical Preparedness.
What if a bear had attacked Bannister during that run? WHAT THEN?!!!?
As "we" (secret society members) all know by now, concentrating on your 'Hot Spots' will lead to premature...well, just watch the video.
I look at that as a metaphor for exercise.
You can flail around all you want, but if you don't have the Salde in you, some other dud (dude?) is gonna take your spot. Now a days, there are five hundred 20 somethings just waiting to out perform your last attempt at world domination.
It's like their whole life is just workout, exercise, blog, exercise, science, math, exercise, aggressive blogging, exercise, "skill" work, deep thought self introspection blogging, ring bench pressing, exercise, protein shake, diet talk, shirt off Facebook photo, shirt off family photo, poor grammar blogging; band resisted olympic lifting, chained and gagged pull ups...
So, since we're talking about high quality, hardcore shit...check this out:
"Stabby High Life"
96 hours bed rest (working on 120)
4 Percocet (5 coming up)
1.5 grilled American Cheese Sandwich
2 servings french toast
3 packages gauze
1 roll tape
Half shaved leg
Dusty Rhodes Story
History of the AWA
8 Episodes Lillyhammer
New York Times
E mail on the toilet
Up to date on Smackdown
Limping into the future on deep thoughts for exercise and pooping.
Someday soon I will exercise again, and to that, a Haiku:
Milking fluid from the wound
More steak please Gaucho
Allow me to let a special guest fill in this last part with some inspiration:
Oh, and to balance that out...
Constipation; dizziness; drowsiness; flushing; light-headedness; nausea; vomiting.
I did get to hit a quick WOD today, World Record Style. It's a little training for a side gig I'm working on.
Finished it off with a Hip Lift, my new shit.
Poor some on the curb for the future of aggressive athletic blogging.
"Most people get cut the fuck up and just lay there. I actually did something."